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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026736">Sunshine</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmo/pseuds/tmo'>tmo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keeping It 500 - Iruka Week 2021 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Family, Gay Parents, I repeat: miscarriage, Irukaweek2021, Miscarriage, Pandemics, Pregnancy, but graphic because of emotional turmoil, dealing with bad news, not graphic in the physical way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:28:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30026736</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmo/pseuds/tmo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He was supposed to be their sunshine through the clouds after trying to get pregnant for over a year.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Keeping It 500 - Iruka Week 2021 [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2200455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Iruka Week 2021</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sunshine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning!!! This story contains a couple dealing with the news that their child is no longer alive in utero so if that at all hurts you in any way, please do not read because I love you and want you to be happy &lt;3 Happy travels if you stop here!</p><p>For the family prompt, a different take on it all</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Blindsighted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iruka realized she was in the car and her mask was still on. Untucking it from behind her ears, habits finally came back and she remembered hand sanitizer. As the acrid smell filled the car, she rubbed over each finger slowly. If she moved too fast, it would break the silence and make it all real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even when Kakashi slid back into the car, her cheeks subtly pink and teary, they didn't talk and the paper, pharmacy bag was left in the console between them like a wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The car ride back was empty. The trees drifted by as the shadows started to grow longer and longer. The drive from the doctor's office was much longer on the way back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the car was in park and they sat there. Together but alone, Iruka could only sit for so long. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Kakashi opened her mouth, Iruka instinctively unbuckled and thrust herself out of the car. If she'd stayed she would've cried because Kakashi would speak it into existence. And seeing her wife cry would've made all of it real.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't want it to be yet because it couldn’t be. Even as she stepped into the home they shared, </span>
  <em>
    <span>their home</span>
  </em>
  <span>, it started to come into focus.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the little changes they'd made were suddenly so apparent. The new dry erase board Iruka had nailed into the wall by the front door. The bags of clothes and things to donate and recycle, leading to the hall and the rooms beyond like their bedroom, bathroom and the…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Iruka couldn't even look at the end of the hall. Her eyes were already starting to well up and she couldn't breathe.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She'd known when she walked into the office that morning. All the anxieties and negativity she'd been feeling were suddenly culminating and she suddenly regretted every sad thing she'd thought because suddenly her doubts had come true.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because that morning she hadn't felt it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Usually, Iruka would groan awake at five in the morning because of the incessant kicking but that morning…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In all her time as a student and teacher, she had never ever been so horrified to find she had slept in. It didn’t mean she had missed a class. It didn’t mean she was late to work. She had known somewhere deep down that…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That their baby…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That their baby was gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though Iruka could feel him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And she felt like it was her fault. She’d thought of the worst and it happened.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even as she tried to make it to their room, she couldn’t imagine their office being an office again. They’d already started picking out colours. Kakashi had chosen yellow because the baby was… going to... be… their sunshine.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Kakashi had tried to rub away the smudges of eyeliner but found once she stepped into the house that she wasn’t the only one crying and hearing Iruka sob so viscerally ripped her heart out. Hugging her wife on the hallway floor, they started to mourn. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry to deal with such a heavy topic but I've been watching a lot of pregnancy and miscarriage stories on youtube and I wanted to explore that kind of grief a bit in writing.<br/>I've never experienced this kind of pain in my life but I do know some kinds of grief. Heck, two of my relatives passed just this week. Which I know isn't a similar situation but I hope that anyone who is dealing with grief right now knows that they aren't alone &lt;3<br/>This was mostly just to explore those feelings if ever I do fall in love with someone who wants a child and we decide to try IVF<br/>Anyway, I've rambled enough! Love you all &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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